by Dawn & Pete Fox
Advanced Certified Tantra Educators Level 3
In Tantric loving the heart energy center is of major importance. It helps us transform our spiritual-sexual experiences into more profound, intimate and ecstatic encounters. One key to this is the practice of Heart-Opening.
In Heart-Opening we consciously seek authentic connection with others, especially a beloved partner. We cultivate two main energetic movements of our hearts: one, an outward, giving movement, and the other, an inward, receiving movement.
In Outward Heart-Opening we choose to consistently reach out to others who matter to us. We practice honesty by being the same on the outside as we are on the inside. Our outer words, expressions and behaviors reflect transparently our inner attitudes, feelings and intentions. We let go of any protective urges to distance ourselves from loving others, to baffle them, or to pretend to be someone we’re not. Instead we just be us, and give others the chance to love us as we actually are.
In our spiritual-sexuality we practice outward Heart-Opening by giving our genuine selves to our partners, for the good and delight of our partners. In relationships of mutual trust, we touch and love with great presence, attention and groundedness. We seek closeness and connection, even at the risk of rejection. We simply give ourselves, warts and all, for our partner’s deepest nourishment, awakening, healing and joy. (We ask ourselves: Are we focused on our partner’s needs and wants, and dedicated to gifting them with what they seek? Can we stretch beyond our beliefs and wishes to embrace theirs? Are we intending to embody Divine bliss in our loving touch?)
In Inward Heart-Opening we choose to let significant others have a deep impact on, and make a difference in, our lives. We consistently practice trust and surrender with those we love. Such surrender is not a giving up in defeat, but rather an opening up to personal and relational change. It does not destroy our world, but rather empowers us to expand beyond it. We let go of any urge to control others, and take responsibility for ourselves. We simply trust our loving partners as sacraments of the Divine to us, intended for our greatest nurturing, healing and blossoming.
In our spiritual-sexuality we practice inward Heart-Opening by first discerning our core experiences in lovemaking, and then conveying them to our partners. In discerning we drop into our center, beneath our protective shields and armor, and allow ourselves to feel without judgment. (We ask ourselves: Are we delighted? Does that hurt? Is there an almost overwhelming sense of serenity or joy? Is an inexplicable anger, sadness or fear bubbling up? Do we even know what we’re feeling?)
Then, in conveying our core experiences to our loving partners we practice expressing ourselves directly, manifesting our feelings exactly as they are. We avoid self-censoring and filtering out unthinkable thoughts and forbidden feelings. Instead, we laugh, we cry, we smile, we grimace, we moan, we howl, we move with rhythm, passion and willingness. And we share with our partners how much we welcome, enjoy and care for them. (Remember, when we give honest and compassionate feedback, we empower our partners to love us better than ever.)
Over time the mutual practice of Heart-Opening leads to fuller understanding, greater trust, deeper intimacy, more consciously ecstatic loving, and a personal and mutual blossoming with our partners. The upward spiral of reciprocal giving and receiving takes us to new levels of creativity, confidence, pleasure and connection. And, increasingly, we actually live the lives we have always dreamed of.
Pete and Dawn Fox reside in Houston Texas and offer classes and private sessions by appointment. Visit them at www.tantricloving.com ~ firstname.lastname@example.org ~ 281-298-8211