by Dawn & Pete Fox

Advanced Certified Tantra Educators Level 3

In Tantric loving the heart energy center is of major importance. It helps us transform our spiritual-sexual experiences into more profound, intimate and ecstatic encounters. One key to this is the practice of Heart-Opening.

In Heart-Opening we consciously seek authentic connection with others, especially a beloved partner. We cultivate two main energetic movements of our hearts: one, an outward, giving movement, and the other, an inward, receiving movement.

In Outward Heart-Opening we choose to consistently reach out to others who matter to us. We practice honesty by being the same on the outside as we are on the inside. Our outer words, expressions and behaviors reflect transparently our inner attitudes, feelings and intentions. We let go of any protective urges to distance ourselves from loving others, to baffle them, or to pretend to be someone we’re not. Instead we just be us, and give others the chance to love us as we actually are.

In our spiritual-sexuality we practice outward Heart-Opening by giving our genuine selves to our partners, for the good and delight of our partners. In relationships of mutual trust, we touch and love with great presence, attention and groundedness. We seek closeness and connection, even at the risk of rejection. We simply give ourselves, warts and all, for our partner’s deepest nourishment, awakening, healing and joy. (We ask ourselves: Are we focused on our partner’s needs and wants, and dedicated to gifting them with what they seek? Can we stretch beyond our beliefs and wishes to embrace theirs? Are we intending to embody Divine bliss in our loving touch?)

In Inward Heart-Opening we choose to let significant others have a deep impact on, and make a difference in, our lives. We consistently practice trust and surrender with those we love. Such surrender is not a giving up in defeat, but rather an opening up to personal and relational change. It does not destroy our world, but rather empowers us to expand beyond it. We let go of any urge to control others, and take responsibility for ourselves. We simply trust our loving partners as sacraments of the Divine to us, intended for our greatest nurturing, healing and blossoming.

In our spiritual-sexuality we practice inward Heart-Opening by first discerning our core experiences in lovemaking, and then conveying them to our partners. In discerning we drop into our center, beneath our protective shields and armor, and allow ourselves to feel without judgment. (We ask ourselves: Are we delighted? Does that hurt? Is there an almost overwhelming sense of serenity or joy? Is an inexplicable anger, sadness or fear bubbling up? Do we even know what we’re feeling?)

Then, in conveying our core experiences to our loving partners we practice expressing ourselves directly, manifesting our feelings exactly as they are. We avoid self-censoring and filtering out unthinkable thoughts and forbidden feelings. Instead, we laugh, we cry, we smile, we grimace, we moan, we howl, we move with rhythm, passion and willingness. And we share with our partners how much we welcome, enjoy and care for them. (Remember, when we give honest and compassionate feedback, we empower our partners to love us better than ever.)

Over time the mutual practice of Heart-Opening leads to fuller understanding, greater trust, deeper intimacy, more consciously ecstatic loving, and a personal and mutual blossoming with our partners. The upward spiral of reciprocal giving and receiving takes us to new levels of creativity, confidence, pleasure and connection. And, increasingly, we actually live the lives we have always dreamed of.

Pete and Dawn Fox reside in Houston Texas and offer classes and private sessions by appointment.  Visit them at www.tantricloving.com ~ info@tantricloving.com ~ 281-298-8211

Tantra Masters Charles Muir and Leah Alchin

by Rob Sidon

One of the originators of the modern tantra movement, Charles Muir, who founded Source Tantra School nearly 35 years ago, is said to be the most prolific trainer in the field.

Prior to the tantric path, Charles, a native of the Bronx, taught hatha yoga in New York City in the 1960s through the mid-1970s under the auspices of television yogi Richard Hittleman and swamis Satchidananda, Madhvananda, and Vishnudevananda, among others. Penniless and celibate, he longed to move to California, but could not afford the trip. His prayers for a cash infusion were answered when an investment of pocket change yielded the New York State lottery’s grand prize—and with it, his ticket west. Thereafter, he met his wife and business partner, Caroline. Although they divorced in 2002, she remains a close, loving friend and a senior teacher at the school.

Leah Alchin originally hails from Michigan and began studying tantra in 1997. Leah is an advanced educator and vice president of the school. Over 30 years his junior, she and Charles live together in Boulder Creek as beloved partners.

Common Ground: You’re a lucky man, Charles, having won the lottery in many aspects of your life. I’ve never met anyone who won a state lottery.

Charles Muir: Three weeks before winning the grand prize, I was in Big Sur on my first trip to California. I had my first understanding of God as the Mother and cried in prayer to the beauty of nature, “Mother, bring me back here.”

Women have been my primary teachers, and my path unfolded with the perfect woman to teach me and help me do my work. I’ll never forget my first tantra woman coming to one of my hatha yoga seminars in Mexico and telling me she wanted to share her tantra with me. I gave my standard reply, which had always worked, “Thank you so much for your offer, but I don’t sleep with my students.” She replied, “I am not your student, I am your teacher. And this is not about sleeping, it’s about awakening.” I held out for six days but then the experience we had together changed my path; that was kind of a lottery too.

CG: In your early life, you were on a classic celibate yogic path. Who were your primary influences?

CM: From 1965 my yoga teachers all expounded celibacy as the only way to deal with our sexual energy. They all explained that sexual energy was the fuel for spiritual advancement and enlightenment. Conserve it, sublimate it, ignore it, transmute it, transform it. As a young man I had a hard time with this and felt that I was failing my gurus. But so many were later busted for having sexual relationships with their female clients. Almost all of the schools of yoga and Vedanta recommend Brahmacharya (celibacy), which seems to work in an ashram, cave, or forest away from women. Tantra was a path for living in the everyday world.

CG: Tantra is often misunderstood. What’s your description?

CM: Most teachers use approximately the same translations of the two Sanskrit syllables that make up the word: tan means “expansive” and tra means “weaving.” It is their understanding that differs. You must also understand that there is tantra and there is tantra yoga, which is what I teach. I would define that as an expansive weaving of energy, love, and consciousness that yields yoga (union or oneness).

CG: What do you say to detractors who suggest that tantra is just a spiritual pretext for good old-fashioned lust?

CM: The people who take our course discover that our presentation of tantra yoga is equally about love and sex. Lust is an energy that takes. It is second chakra (reproductive/sexual) energy being directed by the third (power) chakra. Love is about giving, not taking. In tantra yoga, it becomes the highest expression of the forth chakra (love) joined to the sixth (consciousness) and elegantly expressed through the second chakra. Our books, DVDs, and courses teach the art of conscious loving.

Lust is easy for most men to express, yet love is what both their spirits and their women really crave. Lust will make you do things that seem like a good idea at the time. Afterward, not so much. Lust can get one into trouble, so many people and religious institutions fear lust. They threaten us with damnation in an effort to limit our sexual experience. They rarely experience the sacrament of sexual love in the bedroom with their beloved. Yet it is God that created sex; we have screwed it up because of a lack of education about how to be a great lover. We are 21st-century lovers held back from sexual love by 19th-century values.

The other thing is that these days there are a lot of people teaching things under the umbrella of tantra who have little understanding of the yoga (union) part of tantra. They can lead one down the path of lust, an endless path of desire that brings you closer neither to your partner, nor your Self, nor your god or goddess. Know your teacher and their work before you study with them.

Leah Alchin: Because so many people exploit tantra (all you have to do is Google the word and see sex ads), many people question the type of person who would be attracted to it. Their fear is walking into a room filled with sloppy, naked people wanting to have sex with multiple partners. They assume it must attract people with sex addiction issues.

What do I say to those with such fears or judgments? First, there’s no nudity in our classes—you take what you learn and practice it in the privacy of your own home. We provide a safe environment, showing you the edge, not pushing you over it. Second, tantra isn’t a religious dogma. It fits with any spiritual belief system you practice. Third, we attract healthy, mainstream people looking for that “something more to sex” that meets them on a deeper level. Tantra transforms lust into sexual love—a very important distinction.

CG to Charles: You’re the granddaddy of the tantra movement in the West and originator of Sacred Spot Massage.

CM: I started teaching tantra yoga to my hatha yoga students in 1980 as part of my school’s curriculum. It quickly became my primary yoga practice. When I started studying hatha yoga in NYC in 1965, there was no “Yoga” in the phone book. The closest listing in the Yellow Pages was “Dannon Yogurt.” When I made the transition to teaching only tantra, there was no other teacher in the U.S. doing it.

I am the originator of Sacred Spot Massage. It is not an ancient practice from India, but rather is derived from my study and use of a tantric practice called Nyasa (ritual charging and awakening of the chakras), energy, mudra, massage, and psychology. Thirty years later, it is a worldwide movement with over a million Google hits, and it is part of most tantra teachers’ courses. There are many who teach a watered-down version of the practice—people who have learned it second-hand. I have trained and certified about 120 teachers worldwide known as “Certified Tantra Educators,” a trademarked term.

CG to Leah: What attracted you at such a young age to this vocation?

LA: As I was coming of age, sex scared me. I was afraid of my own sexual energy, fearful that it was too big, that I would lose control, perhaps get pregnant, or be used instead of loved by men. My experiences shaped this fear until I fell in love for the first time. I had a deep intuition that there must be something more to sex. With a partner that adored me and loved the parts of my body that I loathed, I found an expression of the Divine that touched my core while being sexual. Sadly, that relationship ended—life was taking him places where he needed to go alone. I was devastated until I realized that his role in my life was to set the stage for my path and purpose: teaching tantra. It was through him that I read my first book on tantra and realized that all of these magical things I was experiencing with him were techniques he had read in Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving. My life changed, and I knew I could never settle for ordinary sex again. I wanted that sexual, spiritual, and love connection to permeate my whole life. I wanted to teach others how it could be done.

CG: I imagine people roll their eyes when they learn that your partner is 30 years older than you.

LA: Yes, it tends to be a button pusher for people… [Read more...]